All Progress Starts With The Truth

Now that you understand the basics of ridiculous gratitude, let me show you the distinction that makes it work when life stinks. Because when life gets genuinely hard, most gratitude advice feels hollow. You know you "should" be grateful, but forcing thankfulness for difficult situations feels fake. There's a reason for that—and a solution that fixes it.

Standing in My Yard Watching Workers Dig a Trench

About two years after sporadically practicing ridiculous gratitude, we got hit with water bills that were five times our usual amount. Five times.

I thought we had a leak somewhere in the house. A plumber came and found nothing. The second bill convinced us to dig deeper—literally. A whole team of professionals came and dug a deep trench almost the length of our front yard, revealing a leak in our main water line. A huge pipe I probably walked over 1,000 times without even thinking about it.

As I expressed my shock about what happened and how it seemed so "normal" for them to fix it, the supervisor on the job said, "Oh yeah we do this all the time."

Standing there watching these skilled strangers fix something I never even thought about existing…

It made me think:

• We benefit from other people's work constantly
• Running water depends on infrastructure I never considered
• Essential workers do jobs I never acknowledge
• We could afford this unexpected expense when, just a few years earlier, it would have been crushing

I wasn't grateful FOR those massive bills—they were genuinely frustrating. But I found myself grateful IN that situation.

That's when I knew ridiculous gratitude was becoming automatic. My brain was noticing what was still working even when something was literally broken underground.

Be Honest

I'm Not Saying Force Anything

Sometimes gratitude advice feels impossible to follow. When you're dealing with real challenges—health scares, job loss, relationship struggles—being told to "count your blessings" can feel dismissive of genuine pain.

There's a reason traditional gratitude feels hollow during hard times: it often asks you to feel something you don't actually feel. But there's another way.

The Critical Distinction: FOR vs. IN

Grateful FOR = Being thankful that something happened
Grateful IN = Noticing things to appreciate while experiencing what happened

When my water bills went crazy, I wasn't grateful FOR the expensive surprise. I was grateful IN that situation—for workers who knew how to fix it, for indoor plumbing that usually worked, for being able to handle the expense.

This distinction changes everything. You don't have to pretend to see problems as blessings if you don't see them that way yet. You don't have to force fake positivity. You just notice what is working well while you deal with what isn't.

Noticing What's Easy To Ignore

During the 2020 pandemic, when the world felt upside down, I started taking long walks. Just me and my thoughts. It took me back to being a country kid from South Carolina who loved being outside.

On those walks, I saw things I'd either never noticed or stopped paying attention to:

• My legs and feet carrying me forward without conscious thought
• Road signs that help us make it safely from point A to point B
• Trees working quietly to clean the air I was breathing

I wasn't forcing gratitude. These things were just there, and I started noticing them. And appreciating them.

While the world was experiencing collective chaos, I was having micro-moments of appreciation. The pandemic brought challenges. It also helped me notice things that had been working all along.

Both things were true simultaneously.

But Wait…

"Is this just positive thinking with different words?"

No. Positive thinking often involves denial or reframing. Grateful IN means holding two truths at once: this situation is difficult, AND some things are still working. You're expanding your awareness, not replacing it.

"What about really terrible situations?"

I'm not saying to be grateful FOR terrible things. I'm saying even in the worst situations, something is usually still functioning—your breathing, someone helping, the sun rising. Noticing those truths doesn't minimize pain; it provides stability while you process and respond to challenges.

"Won't this prevent me from fixing problems?"

Actually, the opposite tends to happen. When you're grounded in what's stable, you have more clarity and energy to address what needs fixing. Panic drains problem-solving ability. Finding your footing first makes you more effective.

"Sometimes things really are blessings in disguise though, right?"

Absolutely. Sometimes, what seems terrible can lead to something better. Sometimes challenges become catalysts for growth. The grateful IN approach gives you stability in the moment, and later, you might discover you're actually thankful FOR what happened. But you don't have to force that recognition before you're ready.

What You'll Notice:

Practice grateful IN for a few weeks, and you'll notice something shift. When challenges come up, your brain automatically starts scanning for what is still working. Not to deny problems, but to find stable ground.

During our water line crisis, this happened without me trying. While watching workers dig that trench, appreciation for their expertise just appeared in my thoughts. Gratitude for indoor plumbing popped up naturally. The recognition of our improved financial situation compared to years earlier came naturally.

The practice had become automatic. And I faced a "season of chaosity" a few years later that confirmed for me: if you practice being grateful IN everyday situations, it becomes your default response during difficult ones.

I'll share more about that season in chapter four.

Two Things Can Be True

Right now, as you read this:

• You have challenges AND you have resources
• Some things are difficult, AND some things are working
• Life includes problems, AND life includes support

Grateful IN doesn't ask you to choose optimism over honesty. It invites you to acknowledge the whole picture with complete honesty.

When you can hold both truths—this is hard AND I have tools to handle it, you operate from stability instead of chaos.

Embrace The Complete Truth

The difference between "grateful FOR" and "grateful IN" changes how you approach challenges. You don't have to force yourself to appreciate difficulties. You can find things to appreciate while dealing with them. And if you reach the point of appreciating the difficulties themselves, great!

But until then…

The goal isn't to deny problems or force positivity. It's about expanding your awareness to embrace the complete truth of living life.

Ready to Try This?

1. Think of one current challenge. Don't minimize it—feel it completely and let it be as difficult as it actually is.
2. Find ONE thing to appreciate IN that situation. Not about it, not because of it, but something else that's true while you're dealing with it. It could be support from others, your own resilience, or completely unrelated things that are still working.
3. Acknowledge your ability to feel both. You haven't solved the problem or pretended it's good. You've just expanded your awareness to include more truth.

Next: You've learned you can be grateful IN difficult situations. But what if you don't know what you can notice during difficulty? Is there built-in "life support" we often overlook in ordinary moments and everyday life? Chapter 2 reveals the invisible army of helpers working for you right now—starting with the most underappreciated hero in your house...